The Smart Way to Deal With Impossible People
The ongoing Oscar Pistorius murder trial has introduced some rather difficult people on either side of the case. We all know someone who seems to make every situation lethal or impossible.
We are all affected by the people around us. They don’t have to be perfect all the time and neither do you. Give respect because you are human. If you don’t receive respect, that is sadly their problem. You can learn how to steer interactions with impossible people and protect your own sanity.
Proven Tips for handling impossible people
• If the person is hitting a nerve end, just breathe. He may be fishing for a reaction, but show him none. Look him in the eye and state your views with confidence.
• Beware of your body language, speak softly and move calmly. Don’t reveal your own feelings. Your calm will have a calming effect on him.
• Avoid arguing as that will trigger your fight or flight responses and make it harder to think clearly.
• Don’t disagree with them; find ways to agree as it will deflate him from constantly looking for arguments.
• Don’t let this person “play the martyr” around you to make you feel guilt and confusion.
• The most healthy way to deal with an impossible person is to remove him from your environment. Know that you cannot “fix” this person.
• Be disconnected from things he says, be it a compliment or criticism. Giving him power to build you up, gives him power to knock you down.
• If you can, avoid him and forget about him.
• If you can’t leave, treat the situation like a game. Get to know his strategy and build counter strategies.
• Remember your ultimate goal is to free yourself mentally, not become their master.
• Do not enrage him, as he could completely lose it.
• If you manage to prove him wrong, he may “crash” and then declare that he is wrong all the time. It is a coping mechanism to provoke sympathy .
• Don’t keep taking the abuse. Tell him your thoughts and give ultimatums if you have to.
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This article originally posted on http://www.dial-direct.co.za and reposted here with permission.