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<img src="domestic violence.jpg" alt="Domestic violence" width="150" height="99">

Understanding why battered women stay with their partners

Understanding the reasons for not leaving an abusive partner will give clarity as to why battered women so often react with humiliation and confusion when asked about it. It is so wrong to conclude that women who are up against real abuse, will leave the abuser. The opposite is actually true.

Battered women – The Psychological Stages


She refuses to admit, even to herself, that there is a problem in her relationship. She’ll call the incident an “accident”. She makes excuses for the abusers violence and confidently believes it will never happen again.


The stage where she acknowledges the problem, but takes responsibility for it. In her mind she deserves to be beaten and that flaws in her character is putting her below her husband’s expectations.


The woman realizes the abuse is not her fault and that no one “deserves” to be beaten, though she is still committed to her marriage and stays with the abuser in the hope to work things out.


She accepts the abuser will not, or can not, stop his violent behavior and makes a decision to no longer submit to it.

In the stages of denial and guilt, the battered woman exists in a “fog” while living with the abuser. Psychologists recognize this dangerous state of indifference in domestic abuse victims. It is usually significant of the period before a battered women is finally killed by the abuser.

How does a woman get caught up in this situation?

Why wouldn’t a woman get out at the very first sign of ill-treatment? Many women pick partners in the hope of getting the love they longed for from their parents and didn’t fully get. Subconsciously they pick duplicates of their parents and end up with a partner who in many ways acts like either of the parents. If parents mistreated them as a child, they will likely pick partners adept of similar abuse. Battered women will continually try, though fruitlessly, to get the abuser’s love and approval. The same as it was with their parents.

When an abused child grows up, for them it’s normal to get hurt by the people you love. Their self esteem is very low from childhood and they can’t give a good reason for why they stay. Only therapy can change it.




Safety Tips to keep your Child Safe

Accidents can happen anywhere in the home. Some safety hazards are obvious — others are not.

The following checklists should help you make your home a much safer place for children:

Safety Tips: Child’s Bedroom

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Keep your child’s bedroom hazard-free

 Safety belt for the changing table

 Any furniture made before 1978 were painted with poisonous lead based paint.

 Crib slats must be less than 6 centimeters apart

 The headboard and foot board should not have large cut-outs

 The mattress should be firm and flat and fit snugly in the crib

 A drop side on a crib is not advisable

 Remove soft pillows, large stuffed animals, bumper pads, and soft bedding

 Cut off loose strings from mobiles and crib toys

 Keep window blind and curtain cords well out of reach and away from cribs

 Secure dressers to a wall and drawers closed

 Lids on toy chests must have a lid support to keep them from slamming shut

 Place night-lights away from any fabric

 Let your child wear flame-retardant pajamas

 Fit a smoke alarm outside the bedroom

 Removed drawstrings from your child’s clothes

Safety Tips: Parent’s Bedroom

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Master bedroom: Lock all potentially dangerous items away.

 Keep medication, coins, scissors, and all sharp objects out of reach

 Secure blind and curtain cords out of reach

 Store firearms unloaded and un-cocked, in a locked safe out of reach of children. store ammunition separately. Keep keys where children can’t find it.

Safety Tips: Backyard and Pool Area

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Make sure your child is safe in the pool

 Walkways and outdoor stairways must be well lit

 Keep sidewalks and outdoor stairways clear of concrete cracks or broken tiles

 Garbage cans to be securely covered.

 Be sure swings are free from rust, splinters, and sharp edges and securely fastened

 Surface under the swing should be soft enough to absorb the shock of a fall

 Fit a climb-proof fencing at least 1.2 meters high around the pool, with a self-closing gate and childproof lock

 Keep ladders securely stored away

Safety Tips: Other possible hazards:

208 x 156 white arum lilies next to water pond

Only keep non-poisonous plants in your home and garden

 Remove all poisonous houseplants

 Keep a no-smoking rule in your home to protect kids from environmental tobacco smoke

 Always keep an eye on your child around pets

Home Safety Tips for Seniors and Caregivers

If you are caring for a senior in your home, congratulations to you! To help you safeguard your home and your loved one, take note of the following tips:

Home Safety: Homeowner  
  • Install a fire extinguisher and smoke detector on every floor.
  • Remove or fix all loose rugs.
  • Remove electrical or telephone cords from passage areas.
  • Don’t treat floors with slippery polish.
  • Clean any spills on a floor immediately.
  • Have strong rails for all stairs or install a stair-lift.
  • Use non-glare 100 watt or brighter bulbs, especially on stair cases with switches top and bottom.
  • Stairs should be non-slip. 
Home Safety: General Safety for Seniors
  • If you smoke be extremely cautious and never smoke when alone or in bed.
  • When you get up from sitting or lying down, do it slowly. Be sure to have your balance before letting go.
  • Wear shoes that fit well, aren’t slippery and has low heals.
  • Make sure your walking aid is correctly measured.
  • Don’t use ladders or climb on a chair.
Home Safety: Bathroom
  • Keep a light on in your bathroom throughout the night.
  • Use securely installed aids on the walls of the bath/shower and near the toilet.
  • Slip-proof the bath and use bath mat with non-slip bottom.
  • Have clearly marked cold and hot taps.
  • Bathing should only happen when help is available.
Home Safety: Kitchen
  • Keep floors clean and dry.
  • light up work areas.
  • Clearly mark “on” and “off” positions on appliances.
  • Store sharp knives in a rack.
  • Use a kettle that switches off automatically.
  • Check expiry dates of food regularly.
Home Safety: Drug Safety for caregivers and seniors
  • Examine medicines continually with a doctor or pharmacist.
  • Medicines should be clearly labeled.
  • Read medicine labels in good light and always use the correct dosage.
  • Get rid of expired medicines.
  • Never take prescribed medication from someone else.
  • Avoid mixing alcohol and your medication.
  • Check with your doctor or pharmacist before using non-prescribed and prescription drugs.