Suspicion in marriage – What did I do wrong?
Suspicion in marriage could be very dangerous. Suspicion can ruin a perfectly good marriage if you can’t tell him what it is you think he did wrong.
Are you suspecting that your spouse is having an affair? Are you wondering what to do? What you need is some suggestions to help you deal with your suspicious thoughts, be it true or false. Also alternatives to spying on your partner and prying in private matters.
How to handle suspicion in marriage and avoid unnecessary disaster
• Don’t make impulsive decisions or jump to conclusions. Statistics show that 85% of women, and 50% of men in due course discover their suspicions were right and the spouse was unfaithful, BUT you could be wrong and put your marriage in unfounded jeopardy.
• Ask and answer these questions:
- Is your spouse dedicated to your relationship?
- Would your partner share with you any feelings of dissatisfaction or unhappiness in the marriage?
- Do you think your spouse is able to break the marriage vows?
- Are these feelings of jealousy or mistrust extreme?
• Discuss any suspicions with your partner. Whatever you say, don’t accuse your partner. Use “I” interpretations, such as “I was worried when you didn’t call as you promised, when you went on the trip.” or “I was upset when I found these in your pockets, when I did the washing.”
• Avoid tip-toeing around your partner. Don’t become pitiful, whiny, insecure, weak, or dependent.
• Stipulate what you won’t tolerate such as lying, secret meetings or emotional intimacy.
• When you confront your spouse with your suspicions, explain what is making you uncomfortable and express your love for your spouse. Indicate your anticipation that your marriage will continue but that you won’t bear sharing your spouse with another person.
• Stop prying for evidence in your partner’s email, text messages, credit card statements, etc. When you are convinced of his unfaithfulness, you will see evidence where there isn’t any.
If you’re convinced about your spouse’s betrayal, do you really see any future for the marriage?
If you can’t trust or forgive your partner, why are you still married?
Seek marriage counseling.
• Trust your intuition. If you do, confront your partner and be prepared to hear the truth.
Hope for the best but be prepared for anything else
If you can nip infidelity in the bud, your marriage has a fighting chance. However, prepare yourself financially, legally, emotionally, and mentally for the worst.
Become independent. Get your property, vehicles and home insured to prevent any unnecessary losses which you can’t afford after a divorce.